“He is not your real grandson…” — Queen Camilla screamed at King Charles as a 10-year-old secret surrounding Prince George finally exploded. Prince William called an emergency midnight council, and Camilla may now face the consequences: “I regret to inform you that…”

Sources claim the decision was influenced by Charles’s discovery of a brightly-coloured doodle George had left on an important state document—a doodle the King mistook for a work of “profound, post-modern genius.”

“William went absolutely ballistic,” a furious royal insider revealed. “He yelled something about George needing to learn Latin, not ‘Lichen Studies.’ Catherine was seen hyperventilating into a designer handbag. Their carefully crafted 18-year plan for the future King has been shredded, all because of one childish squiggle!”

🎨 THE COST OF CREATIVITY: A ROYAL RIFT?

The new ‘curriculum’ reportedly includes courses like “The Spiritual Power of Peat Bogs,” “Understanding the Hue of Highland Mist,” and “Advanced Watercolour Techniques on Handmade Papyrus.” This move is widely seen as King Charles attempting to mould his heir in his own creative, slightly eccentric image, much to the horror of the more pragmatic Waleses.

“It’s a clear power play,” a Royal commentator observed. “Charles is stamping his authority and signalling that he is still the boss, even over the line of succession. He thinks George will emerge from the wilderness a deep, philosophical monarch. Everyone else thinks he’ll emerge with damp feet and a deep hatred of painting!”

🖼️ WILL GEORGE’S ART BE SOLD?

The most startling rumour circulating the Palace is that the King intends to sell George’s ‘early works’ to fund a new wing of his personal gallery. Will the future King’s childhood scribbles become a valuable, tax-exempt asset?

One thing is certain: The battle lines have been drawn between the traditionalist Waleses and the eccentric King. Can the monarchy truly survive a future ruled by an Abstract Expressionist Monarch? Only time, and the critics of George’s first gallery show, will tell!